I had a post all prepared, but as I sat here re-reading it, it sounded something like this:
blabbity blab blah poor me blah boring blobbity crying ya'll a river blah blah And so on. So, I decided not to post all of my boring woes to bore ya'll with. (Ya'll is not a word I usually use when I am speaking, but it seems to be a fun word to use while typing. Hmm.)
Anyways, me? Bad mood lately? Yes. Me? Feeling all sad & depressed? Yup. And that just does not make for a very interesting life and thus nothing interesting to write about. I keep waiting for something exciting to happen. Like, I don't know, what if I am driving home from a strenuous day of work (possibly a
Saturday) and I stop at the end of the driveway to get the mail. I start to sort through the mail and I discover a plain white envelope which has "For You" written on the front. There are no other markings to give me a clue as to where it came from. No stamp. No return address. I think to myself, "That's odd." So, I take the envelope into the house my curiosity flowing. I set it down on the coffee table and stare at it for a couple of minutes. Several thoughts run through my mind. Could it be from a long lost friend? Or a secret admirer? Or maybe a secret admirer turned stalker? Crap, am I being stalked? (I'd of course look around nervously.) (And I'd probably run to the bathroom and check behind the shower curtain.) (You do know that behind the shower curtain is where all scary-going-to-do-harm-to-you people hide, right?) Phew, the coast is clear. Back to checking out the mysterious envelope. Maybe it's the CIA assigning me a secret mission that pertains to national security. A mission that only I, an untrained civilan with bad coordination, could successfully complete. Yup, that could be it. My sleuthing skills aren't too bad. I mean, my favorite board game was always Clue. That's it! It was
Lindsey Lohan on the stairs with a tea cup! Or not. Hmm. Oh shit! Maybe somebody knows about the secret CIA mission and they have gotten to me before the CIA and they are trying to poison me with Anthrax . (Where the hell is Jack Bauer when you need him?) Oh! Oh! Maybe I WON something! Wait. That's funny. I don't remember entering a contest. Damn, that can't be it. So, then I think to myself, "Well, there is only one way to find out." With a shirt wrapped over my nose and some gloves on (anthrax, remember?!?) I open the envelope. I am relieved to discover that there is no white powdery residue. And what do I find inside? A single, pink piece of paper of course. I nervously unfold it and find this:
VALENTINE'S DAY BAKE SALE
Where: Ye local high school
When: Tuesday, February 14th
Time: 3:00 - 7:00 pm
Why: To raise money for the senior class trip to Hershey, PA
There will be a wide selection of confectionary yumminess including: cookies of all varieties, cakes, pies, and assorted handmade candies.
Oh well, at least there are cookies involved . . .
